Fun Fact Friday…

I’ve decided to start a Fun Fact Friday edition on this blog. I am hoping that by doing this I will at least have something to post every other Friday or so. Most of the time these fun facts will be about me, it is my blog after all, but, sometimes they may be interesting things that I have learned. Or, Googled; fine, whatever.

So, here goes: Fun Fact Number 1:

For most of my life, including up until I had my first child and went back and watched the movie as an adult. I thought that Ursula’s name before becoming Ursula in the Disney Movie The Little Mermaid was Wella Witch.

I. KID. YOU. NOT. I’m not joking. Remember this scene?

For like 25 years I thought she was saying Wella Witch, as in her first name was Wella and her last name was Witch. For most of my childhood and some of my adult life I was convinced that Wella was a bad word or mean name in the sea language. I mean; they weren’t even kidding when they called her that. You don’t joke when its something serious.

 I know, I know. This is totally pathetic; but, it’s true.

I’m not proud, but it is what it is. Why I never thought to look up the actual lyrics is beyond me. I Google just about everything. But in this case I just believed my 5 year-old self for way too long. I still kind of like the ring to her name being Wella. Like its a secret bad word that they snuck into the movie, unbeknownst to kids. I may start using it in every day life. For instance. ‘This sure turned into a wella storm.’ I’m working on it; we’ll see.

Well that concludes this Friday’s Fun Fact. Tune in next time for the next embarrassing fun thing about me or the world, or both.

 

The Basher Turns 5 Today!

I remember my stomach started hurting and I didn’t know what it was.

I remember I ate macaroni and cheese for dinner. Had I have known that would be my last meal for the next 34 hours I would have had steak, or at least a lot of bread! Carb loading would have been nice.

I remember I asked three questions right after you were born. Is he okay? Can I hold him? When can I eat something?

I remember I looked at your dad and silently we both finally knew what your name was – we hadn’t really agreed up until that moment.

I remember you pooped on me almost right away. You always laugh when I tell you this, but it was pretty gross and not that easy to get off, I might add.

I remember your first cry.

I remember when I walked out of the delivery room hours after you were born and felt the sensation I was falling. That could have been because I was about to pass out, but I also know it was because I was in love in an inexpressible way.

I remember I was ready to come home early because we wanted to be home on Thanksgiving. Again, food is a driving force in my life. Your Grandma and Aunt made sure that could happen and brought us Thanksgiving dinner our first night at home.

I remember I was so scared as we brought you home, this giant (my kids are not tiny babies) baby that I had to take care of for his entire life. How was I going to keep you safe?

I remember the night you slept straight through until morning and I woke up in a panic convinced that something terrible had happened. It was just that you finally figured out how to sleep for 8 hours.

I remember the day I dropped you off at daycare for the first time. I cried. You cried. Your dad did not cry. You were so little. But, we both survived and you grew to love it there.

I remember when you broke your nose at 19 months. 19 months people. It was horrible. I knew I was in for an adventure when that happened.

I remember the night you slept in a toddler bed. You didn’t get out of bed once. Not once. Since then you get out of bed way too frequently.

I remember when you first figured out what Christmas was. Your face made that one of the best days of my life.

I remember your first joke – man kid you make me laugh every day!

I remember the first time you saw the beach. It was amazing. I love experiencing firsts with you. It is so incredible.

I remember when you started dressing yourself and the day you insisted you wear your dinosaur costume to visit your Uncle.

I remember when you first met your baby brother. You loved him so quickly, and you are the best big brother.

I remember each of your birthdays Basher. How I cherish them! Each year I get a reminder of how lucky I am to be your mom. And, how big you are getting each and every day. You are growing and learning and it is amazing in every way!

I remember when I became a mom. Every day of the last five years of it has been an adventure. In fact, I wager I’ll never forget how each of these years has made me feel and changed me. I love you so much little Basher, I’m so happy I get to be your mom. It’s the best title I ever got!

 

 

 

 

 

Introverts Unite….Separately!

Some signs you may be an introvert!

1. You have prayed to God (whether you believe in one or not) that someone wouldn’t answer their phone so you could leave a message.
2. You have run into something while looking at the ground because you were trying to avoid eye contact with someone else.
3. You have volunteered to take the group picture so that you didn’t have to ask a stranger to take it.
4. You have asked question after question to someone so that you didn’t have to answer any yourself.
5. Your idea of a perfect night out is staying in.
6. You are perfectly comfortable catching up via text msg.
7. You have had a shoe lace emergency, or desperately tried to find something in your purse when the words, ‘turn around and say hi to a few people’ have been spoken at an event.
8. You don’t understand why people think its hard to go to the movies or dinner by yourself.
9. You genuinely care for people, but not all together in large groups.
10. You have put yourself in timeout, away from your kids, because if they touch you one more time……..

Stay with me please….

Last night, the Basher got sick. Like gross, wash the sheets more than once sick. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t pretty. It was yucky. And, it was heartbreaking. There are few things harder as a parent than when your child is sick and there is nothing that you can do to help them. To top that, he was trying so hard to be brave and not cry, that I almost started bawling.

After we finally got out of the bath and new sheets on his bed he lay down. I lay down next to him to try to get him to sleep. He fell asleep pretty quickly, it was very late. Once asleep I got up to take care of a few more things. Shortly after that I heard him screaming my name. I ran back in his room expecting to start washing sheets again. Turns out, he was just scared, because he woke up and I wasn’t there. I told him he didn’t need to be scared, that I was just in the other room and he needed to sleep. But, he thought that I would be there and I wasn’t. I turned to leave and he said, ‘Stay with me please, mom.’

I stopped short. This little one was scared. He didn’t feel well. He was cold and felt sick, and at that moment the only thing he needed; the only thing I could really do was stay with him. I was next to him in an instant and didn’t leave until my husband relieved me, so I could get some sleep too. (He’s a really amazing dad)

Ever since then I haven’t stopped thinking about that. The fact that in that moment what calmed my son the most was me just staying with him. He just wanted to know that I was there for him. He may not have needed us again last night, but he needed me there just in case he did. I wasn’t even holding him, I knew he was exhausted and needed sleep, but he couldn’t sleep without my husband or me there. This was something that only we, as his parents, could do for him. And we, as his parents, would have stayed with him forever, if he needed it.

I couldn’t help but think about this in the wake of what is going on in our country. Our country is hurting and spilt. This isn’t a political debate, it isn’t about who you did or didn’t vote for; it’s about the fact that some of our family are scared and hurting right now and don’t know what the future holds. You can support one camp and still be there for those that support the other one. It’s one of the things that I love about America; we don’t have to agree to be part of the same family. In fact, most people don’t agree with their families on everything, but when one of them is upset you come around them and help. We’re all Americans even if I don’t agree with you. Some people may be right and things will be worse, others may be right and things will be better, it may be that things will remain the exact same. But, like my son last night, people are scared, so maybe the most we can do, until we know what is going to happen; is let them know we will stay with them. All night, if we need to.

Entertaining Kids

 

This is how I feel when my kids are standing in their loft full of toys and they tell me they are bored…

I look around and I think, how could you be bored? Look at all these things you have to play with. It can’t be possible that you are bored. Do you know what I had to play with as a kid? That’s right, lots of toys too. Now, go entertain yourselves.

Have you ever tried to entertain children? Sometimes it is literally the hardest thing you can do.

When Basher was born my husband and I decided not to have a ton of toys. In fact, for the first couple of years of his life we didn’t buy him hardly any at all. I wish I could say that this continued, but somewhere between us making this decision and then 4 birthdays, 4 Christmases and the birth of the Bug later this is no longer the case. In fact, we have a loft full of toys. In general, we haven’t bought the majority of them, but they still exist. In my house. And, my kids have access to them.

So, please riddle me this fellow parents, or people of wisdom if you are not a parent; how do my kids have tons of toys and I still hear the words, ‘I’m bored’ come out of their mouths?

It is really unacceptable to me. Especially when I have seen first hand my sons play with a box for like 2 hours. I have since decided; I don’t believe them anymore. And, even though I am their mom, I can’t entertain them ALL. THE. TIME. They have to learn to do some things on their own. I won’t always be around, you know. Besides, I know the inventory of toys that we have, as I try to sell give them away whenever I can smuggle sneak them across the border out of the house when they aren’t looking. In fact, I’m dealing giving away matchbox cars if you want any. We have around 100 of them. (that i know of) So, I know for a fact there is plenty to play with and they should never be bored.

Therefore in the future, I am not going to entertain their whims about boredom. They will have to do that themselves. In fact, whenever my kids say they are bored I will remind them that they have a limitless imagination, so being bored really isn’t possible. Now go entertain yourselves, lest you find the inventory toys gone one day.

I’m not broken, I’m a mom.

We have all seen it happen, read the story, shared the story on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram…We have all cringed and maybe for some of us, we have been the receiving end. We have questioned, gotten mad, maybe said something or stayed silent, but I doubt any of us have never heard of it happening.

It is that moment when a mom or dad is attacked for (insert WHATEVER here). Maybe she was breastfeeding in public and some awful person thought it was their right to tell her not to FEED her baby. FEED. HER. BABY. Or, maybe she was formula feeding in public and some awful person thought it was their right to tell her not to FEED her baby. FEED. HER. BABY. Maybe it is a parent who isn’t following their kid around the playground enough. Or, a dad whose daughter is running around wearing a spiderman costume instead of a princess one. Or a mom whose son is playing with a babydoll – oh man, god forbid.

Every time I hear, see, experience one of these stories, my reaction is the same. Who the hell are these people, anyway? I’m talking about the attackers; the people who think they know better, the judgers. Every time I hear of them or experience them I can’t help but think. Who are you people?

I’m often taken aback by the audacity of people to get involved in another person’s life. I’m not talking about friends being involved in friends lives. I’m not talking about family who know what you are going through and are trying to help you see the light. I’m talking about COMPLETE. FREAKIN. STRANGERS. attempting to tell you what is up. I know these people are in all parts of life. I know they permeate all types of people, but they seem to be especially involved when someone is a parent. Why is that? When a women becomes pregnant is there some sort of signal released to the universe that says I am now open for ridicule?

I remember when I was pregnant with my first. One day I was at work and someone said the following to me – I kid you not. ‘You don’t look as bad as you did yesterday, but you still look pretty tired today’ I think I just stared at her. How does one respond to a compliment like that? I’d like to say that was the only time someone said something like that to me, but it wasn’t. I also remember when I made the very painful and tear filled decision to stop nursing my son. I couldn’t keep up and I wasn’t producing enough and it was terrible and someone told me I was being selfish. Of course they didn’t have to listen to him scream because I didn’t have enough milk, but they had no problem telling me that I was a terrible mother. They didn’t even know me. Literally, I was a stranger, but somehow they thought it was okay to give me a personality evaluation and determine I was not good enough. I felt so broken. I felt like I was so wrong. If this is what a stranger thinks about me, my family and friends must think I’m a complete failure as a mom.

Who was that person? There are children on the streets fending for themselves as toddlers because of bad parents and you are worried about my decision to formula feed? There are teens being sold into slavery and you are worried about the mom breastfeeding in a Target cafe? Who are you people? A child was almost kidnapped and it was caught on camera and the comments from the majority who watched it was that the mom remained too calm. TOO CALM? Her child was almost kidnapped, if she had went psycho on that guy, people would be telling her to calm down and deal with the situation so she doesn’t scare the child. Again, who are these people?

I’m not entirely sure where these people come from. It may be that there only used to be a few, let’s say like 5, but as they started making comment after comment, people who had a latent a**h*** gene began to surface and multiply and now we have so many that we have to deal with the problem. Or, maybe they have always been around, but it wasn’t until I was a mom that I noticed it. Wherever they come from we need them to stop and think before they go around stating their opinion on things they know nothing about. You have no idea what road someone is walking and so commenting on the state of their shoes does not help them. We have to stop attacking parents just because they are being parents. It’s really hard to be a parent, but telling someone they are doing it wrong just because it’s not the decision you would make doesn’t make it any easier. Being an imperfect parent doesn’t mean you are broken, it means you are a parent.

I always hated the saying, ‘just walk a mile in their shoes.’ Have you ever walked a mile? It’s not that long. In fact, I would wager that most people could walk a mile. Most of us probably walk that in a day without even trying that hard. Don’t walk a mile in someones shoes and then tear into their life. Walk a year or ten or through the death of a parent or child. Walk through the birth of their child and through the tears of kindergarten. Walk through a promotion and the loss of a job. Walk through their brokenness as well as when they are put together. Walk through their new house and walk with them when they have to clean up the flooded basement. And then, and only then comment about their life.

And, when you do comment encourage them. Encourage them on their walk. Encourage them in gain and encourage them in loss. Encourage them when they are whole and encourage them when they are broken. And, if you haven’t walked with them and you aren’t part of their tribe encourage them anyway because maybe they have never been encouraged; or maybe they don’t have a tribe, or maybe it’s been a really crappy day as a parent and realistically they just need it. But don’t ever, ever attack them. Ever. After all they aren’t broken, they just have kids.

 

 

 

Some nights just call for the ‘F’ word…

You read that right, ladies and gentlemen; I’m talking about fast food. I’m not saying it is a good, or even a wise idea, but sometimes dinner just doesn’t come together the way you need or want it too.

Or sometimes your youngest cries for the two hours leading up to dinner and so the thought of making something at home from scratch actually causes you pain.

It can be overwhelming to get dinner on the table every night and so some nights just call for Chick-Fil-A; or Freddy’s; or Cafe Rio; or a combination of all three depending on who you are trying to appease.

Tonight we went to Freddy’s. It wasn’t great but the kitchen is already clean.

Adventure is out there

I used to think homeschooling was for me. In fact, I very seriously considered it. I knew people that had been homeschooled. I was homeschooled until 5th grade. I was a stay at home mom, it made sense, you know. I thought about how awesome it would be to be the one that teaches my kids everyday. How amazing to let them guide their education by their interests and desires. I thought, I don’t want to stifle learning, I want to give it the chance to explode. I want Basher and the Bug to have an amazing learning experience. One that challenges their weakness and increases their strengths. I couldn’t help but think about how my kid would be the next Ted Talk sensation. We would explore the world around us and be adventurous. I thought this could be my future. However, then I did some research on what homeschooling actually entails. It was then that I realized that I didn’t really want to homeschool; what I really wanted to do was go hiking on a Tuesday and have an adventure on a Thursday for no reason.

Not exactly great homeschooling material here folks. I was shocked…. homeschooling takes work? What? It’s not just going on adventures and driving to Wyoming in the middle of the week to learn about…hmm….cattle???? Shoot, that threw everything off.  As structured as I am, the thought of teaching my sons to read and, good Lord, science, does not ignite in me a sense of passion or excitement. Reading with them the adventures of swashbuckling pirates or traveling 20000 leagues under the sea and doing an experiment on the effect bleach has on colour sounds like fun. Teaching them the phonetics of reading or the chemical compounds of bleach (should you care, here are Wikipedia’s thoughts on bleach), however, does not. So, what is it that I want my sons to remember. What can I teach them, while letting the teachers do their thing in the classroom? I believe I can teach them that sense of adventure.

I love the movie Up! If you haven’t watched it, stop reading and go watch it now. (I’m not kidding stop reading and go watch it, seriously, you’ll thank me) This movie perfectly shows what I want my kids to know. The main character, Carl, dreams of being a big adventurer as a child. But, life happens and he goes his whole life thinking he missed the adventure boat. He is convinced that his wife regrets their life because they never went on a grand adventure together. But, in the end, he realizes he is incredibly wrong. The great thing about adventure is that it is everywhere. You don’t have to travel to Peru (although Machu Picchu is on my bucket list of adventures to go on) to experience the awe in the world. Life is awe. Life is adventure. Life is amazing. I don’t want Basher and the Bug to think that if they never get to – insert your dream adventure here – their life is forfeit and un-exciting. Because life is astounding, whether you are camping on the Appalachian Trail or in your backyard. Life is adventurous whether you walking on the Great Wall of China or eating ice-cream on a Thursday night, just because.

I can show them that adventures come in all shapes and sizes. I can teach them about the world of going on a hike on a Tuesday and adventures on a Thursday. Of driving to Wyoming in the middle of the week to learn about……Geysers. (that makes more sense than cows, we have those here for crying out loud) I can teach them that the sense of adventure doesn’t have to wait. We can experience it without waiting for something more. The world is an amazing place, and there are so many different people and cultures and I can’t wait to show that to my kids. Sometimes I get caught up with thinking that adventure has to be big. I think they have to be older to experience it. I get super excited thinking about when the boys will be in their teens and we can go explore the 5 National Parks in Utah. I want my boys to know awe. In every sense of the word. But, I also want them to realize that adventure is small too.

I have to keep reminding myself that adventure and awe isn’t limited to hiking on a Tuesday or seeing the Taj Mahal. I don’t have to travel anywhere to experience it with my kids. We can find it everywhere. In fact, most kids have that sense innately as they try to figure out the world. So, instead of attempting to take them on my adventures; I’ve decided to join in on theirs. If we are building the next train loop on the island of Sodor, or finding bugs and acorns (which we do often) in the back yard, or hiking on a Tuesday, we will explore this world everyday. We will learn and grow and explore and be adventurers.

We, like Carl, will put on our goggles or shoes – just shoes would be progress – and give the world the thumbs up. We will experience things everyday because we are alive and we can. And, because no matter what it looks like: Adventure is out there.

I can’t make gifs, but this one is perfect!

On Fall and New Seasons…

My oldest started school recently. Okay, it’s only two days a week for a few hours, but it is quite the change of pace for us and it is new! At first I was super excited –  mostly I still am, but once I got home and started making the obligatory first day of such and such grade Facebook post, I realized I was a little sad too. Like a tear, or ten, ran down my cheek. I’m not much of a crier, more since becoming a mom or when Marley and Me is on TV because……dogs; but in general I don’t cry a ton. I was totally taken aback by how this affected me. I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of emotions that followed dropping that little Basher off at school. It’s not even Kindergarten for crying out loud. Literally.

I don’t know if it was the start of a new thing in our life or the coming fall or the fact that my youngest just started using words, but it got me thinking about how much they are growing up and how this is the beginning of a new season for us. Not just me or Basher or the Bug, but us. Like as in mom and child and child. And, family really. It won’t be long until we have sporting events, or band, or school plays or whatever. We will have back to school nights and school lunches. Homework and friends to maneuver all while still trying to be us. This new beginning isn’t something I am really scared of, it’s more that I am just a little sad about what we are leaving behind. Us has been so nice lately. It’s gotten so comfortable and recognizable. I treasure it so much. But this season, this is new.

New beginnings are just that; new. But, here is the crazy thing: new beginnings often come from the death of something old. Just as young saplings are born from the death of the mighty oak seeds. Sometimes for something new to begin something old must heed the call of death and pass on to the future. The Autumn always makes me think about this, more of a Spring girl here, that in some ways it’s sad to watch the death of something, even if it is the start of something new and exciting. Just as Spring comes from the death of fall and the silence of winter, sometimes our lives must let go of something beautiful to birth something even better.

For me, this is where the sadness comes in. When your kids are young the changes are so amazing and consistent. One day they can’t hold a toy, the next day they can. All of a sudden they can crawl, stand, walk.  They don’t say anything one day and the next you hear them say your name. Mama. It is so simple, yet it changes everything. For that moment, you are everything to them. They desperately need you and it is amazing and scary and it is the start of an incredible season in your life. It is so daunting and exhausting how much they need you. In fact, sometimes you wish they could just do it themselves. However, as soon as you do, you start to see those leaves fall.

A new Spring begins, they get older and the changes are more subtle and mind-boggling. One day they need help getting a snack and then you realize later they are eating that same snack without you helping them. All at once they are dressing themselves and brushing their own teeth. You start to check up on them because they can’t possibly do this on their own. One day they needed you and the next they didn’t need you quite as much. How can that season be over already, it was so short, so young? It can’t be dying yet, you just learned how to tend that tree and now it’s gone. But, even as you adjust to this new season it ends again, and another one begins.

I’m sure as they get older this only becomes more extreme. One minute you are driving them to soccer practice and the next they are asking for the keys to go out on Friday night. You used to check their homework, and now they don’t need help. It’s heartbreaking and amazing all at the same time. They are becoming these amazing adults and growing into themselves and who they are. All of a sudden they need you even less and you have to let go. Once again you are forced to watch the leaves fall and wait again for Spring.

There is something scary about being needed less by these tiny humans. Something liberating, but sad at the same time. Watching my sons grow up is the greatest gift, one I know not every parent is afforded, but in times like these I am always gripped by how hard it can be too. I guess that is really what we do as parents though, we are slowly training our kids not to need us anymore. I’m sad I wont be needed as much someday. It breaks my heart and sometimes I’m not sure I’ll survive the cold winter of change. I’m not always ready to say goodbye to the season that we are in, so when it comes time to leave it I don’t know how to let it go. Sometimes the death of the fall is painful, but I can hold on to the thoughts of spring.

I know that each season I say goodbye to as a mom there is an even more exciting one waiting for us. I know that as each of us, my sons and me, are navigating something new we are growing together and learning more. I know that as they get older every day and our relationships change that we will be stronger and there will be something greater on the other side too. I guess I have to embrace the death of the old season so that we can live in the new one. I have to learn to let go of where we were so that we can get to where we are going. The birth of something new is always a little scary, but like the Spring that never ceases to arrive I know that winter cannot last forever.